17 of the Greatest, Great British People Problems!

We all have problems, everyone and everywhere in the world. But there really isn’t anything quite like British people problems. Often overlooked by outsiders, for many Brits it’s an issue that can take years of careful counseling and training to change. Honestly. I’m not making any of this up.

There are hundreds of very funny problems on the official Reddit channel, but here are the top 17 that really sum up what it’s like being a Brit in this mad and crazy world. I’ve even peppered in some of my own, because I’m weird like that.

So when you’re next feeling low or depressed, think of the poor British people please, and maybe your problems won’t seem so bad after all. Thank you.

17. I tutted at someone who pushed into the queue, and they turned and looked at me.

16. Price George is a year old and has already visited half the countries I’ve always wanted to.

15. Briefly opening the window and letting in fifty midges, two flies, seven bees, three pigeons and a fox.

14. Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change.

13. Writing “good luck” without an exclamation mark on a colleague’s leaving card, to show just how much you detested their presence.

12. Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it.

11. Never wanting to use an exclamation mark but worrying you’ll come across as miserable without one.

10. Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed “cheers”, “ta” and “nice one”.

9. Watching a guest open the fridge without asking permission first.

8. Moving a chair or making a nose that sounds like a fart, so keep making it to confirm that it WASN’T A FART.

7. Open a Birthday card and pretending not to notice the money before you’ve read it.

6. Trip up on the street but then integrate trip into walk so people think that’s how you normally walk.

5. Lying that this is the best food you’ve ever eaten when in fact it was truly dreadful but didn’t want to disappoint the waitress.

4. I made eye contact with a stranger on the tube. We both looked away out of the window, and our reflections made eye contact.

3. Losing faith in your delivery halfway through telling a joke, so opting to just explain what the punch line was going to be and why.

2. Not wanting to use an emotion yet worrying you’ll come across as sarcastic without one.

1. I told my friend to “pop round whenever” and she actually turned up unannounced.

Blimey! is your daily dose of British news and features for anglophiles everywhere. This article was carefully written by Tim Holt, a British actor and author based in North Carolina. He misses England very much indeed, but also loves America too. Forever torn between two magnificent slices of sod.
  • Clare

    Hehehe! I like this.

    • Excellent! (Notice the exclamation haha)