I blame two people. Benny Hill and Austin Powers. The latter is for sure responsible for putting “shag” into the American language as something other than a fancy bit of dancing. And even though Benny Hill hasn’t been shown over here in years, all it takes is the theme tune to play and people immediately know what’s about to happen. Fast walking nubile young ladies trying to escape the clutches of a weird looking old man.
So yes, there is a saucy side to the British. It’s a direct link to our national psyche of being repressed..a bit..reserved. Stiff upper lip, and all that. I do believe you cannot have the fancy houses and costume dramas without knowing that the British also have this very cheeky side, which is not common in American culture.
The following really is quite saucy but it was requested and I’m easy. Please, if you’re a child, turn off this webpage and go read a nice book by JK Rowling who I hear is quite good. Don’t think less of me because of this post. I am literally cringing as I type every word. I never swear or have ANY improper thoughts and even now I’m bathing in hot salty water with razor blades to remove the stain from what is to come. It’s making typing this list bloody hard, I tell ye.
Let’s begin you naughty person
Knob – Penis
Fanny – Vagina (NOT the bum. Ever.)
Muff – Vagina
Bollocks – A pair of man’s testicles
John Thomas/Prince Albert – Penis
Bugger – Anal sex
Shag/shagged – Sex
Skank – Slut
Wank – To Masturbate
Boff – Sex
How’s your father – Sex (fancy a bit of how’s your father, love?)
Slapper – Slut
Rogering – Sex (I was rogering Joanne)
Snog – French kiss
Willy – Penis
Twat – Vagina
Bonk – Sex
Bang – Sex
Toss off – Masturbate
Jugs/Melons/Baps – Breasts
Urgh. Now go wash your eyeballs and never, ever look at this list again.